Thinking more about this

I'm taking today off of poker, and will take tomorrow off, in all likelihood, as well.

However, that doesn't mean I haven't been THINKING about poker. I know, I know, how surprising. I was kind of thinking about how I knew what was happening last night. I worked very hard to get that slight chip lead, and then it just seemed that everything started to go against me.

I've been reading Aces and Kings by Michael Kaplan and Brad Reagan, in which there's a chapter on women in poker. Cyndy Violette is one of the women featured, and there's a bit in there about how, when she got to heads up for a 7/8 bracelet at the 2004 WSOP, after she started losing some chips, there was a battle in her head. Part of her mind was battling an evil battle, telling her she wasn't good enough, and that she'd never win a bracelet. Her attempts to silence that part of her brain with positive thinking just wasn't working. However, she was able to go on a dinner break when her opponent agreed, and was able to take the necessary actions to silence the voices on the break.

That wasn't exactly what was happening to me last night. There was a battle going on in my mind, though. The happy part was saying "Dude, you've figured this opponent out. Weather this stretch when he's getting run over by the deck, and go back to doing what you did to take the lead." Then, the unhappy part was going insane, saying "Dude, you just had the lead like 5 hands ago, and now you've only got half his chips! Do something! Now!"

The trouble is, I was fifteen minutes from a break. I had to somehow stave off this battle going on in my mind, and play my normal solid game of poker the whole time. I let the unhappy part dominate for fifteen seconds and I paid a steep price.

How do I make sure that the right voice is always dominant? I'm powerless to request breaks online, and my clocks are always strict. I wish I knew. When I come up with something, I'll let you all know.